The Filing Cabinet

A couple of months ago, I finally got my son into another speech therapy program.

Back story: He was in one, briefly, a couple of years ago for a speech delay. I ended up pulling him out because we moved, but since he also started talking non-stop, I thought it was no longer as big issue. Around the time he turned three, even though he talked all the time, it became clear that he had some difficulty enunciating many words; I could easily translate what he was saying, but I guessed that everyone else understood him 50% of the time. Maybe less. Again, I thought he would just "grow out of it," that he'll eventually be able to sound out the letters R and L, etc. It wasn't until I met with his preschool teachers earlier this year that I realized how much his speech issues affected other things, most importantly, his social interactions with other kids. They were concerned that my son had not made any real connections with any of the other kids, even though they have been in the same classroom for several months already. They said that perhaps the biggest hurdle is because the other kids have trouble understanding him; if they try to speak with him and he either can't answer them or answers unintelligibly, then they get frustrated and/disinterested.

While not totally uncommon, they also told me that at this age (4-5), kids generally start to really play with one another. It was very surprising and sobering to hear, since my son is far from being a shy kid; he will talk to complete strangers at the store, and is known for always having a beaming smile on his face. Consequently, I began to notice when I dropped him off in the mornings, there were definite "groups" of kids who generally played together ... and there was my son, who played by himself. It broke my heart. Now, it wasn't like my son sat in a corner and cried - he was happy to play alone, or briefly with the occasional kid who stopped by to check out what he was doing, but as his mother, of course I want him to have friends and be able to have fun with them. I am an introvert, so I fully understand the preference to do things alone, but I was/am afraid that my son's speech difficulties could lead him to be treated as an outcast.

So I finally got off my ass and got him into therapy. Great! But then they made me realize something else. While he definitely needs help with articulation, he also has problems simply communicating. Ask him a question, and he could give you a seemingly random or unrelated answer. Yes, this was something else I knew, but didn't think too much of. That is, until I took into consideration how it affects his interactions with other kids.

The best example they gave me was this: it's as if his mind is like a filing cabinet. Talk to him, and instead of pulling out the right piece of paper, everything just falls out and he picks up the first piece that he thinks makes sense. That is so completely him. Again, I was able to figure him out because most of the time, I knew what he was referencing. But to others? Talk to him about food, and he will blurt out something like, "But the kids won't have good food to eat!" While I could recognize that he's recalling something from the book, "The Little Engine That Could," others would generally be like, "WTF?"

So we're working on it. He has speech therapy twice a week, I take him to as many of his classmates' birthday parties that we get invited to, and he'll be in preschool for five days a week (instead of three) starting in the fall. If it comes up again (his speech therapist mentioned the possibility of him being ADHD), I'll do what I can to help him work it out. My son is a crazy, happy four-year-old - and I think as most parents are wont to do, I'll be damned if he's ostracized or bullied in some way because he has difficulty talking.

Updates: Potty Training, Speech Therapy, and Making Friends

I'm a horrible blogger.

Well, more specifically, it's like I'm too ADD to keep posting in one place. I may have been neglecting this blog, but at least I've (mostly) kept up with my photography blog over at (Over)Caffeinated Snapshots. Also, lately I've been trying to post more on my tumblr, which I like because it lets me post quickly whatever might be on my mind or repost something I like.

As for the parenting side of things ... lots of things.

My four-year-old is still not fully potty trained. Some days seem better than others, but I'd like to say (hopefully without jinxing myself) that my son is also getting the hang of it. It's just been a (long) frustrating journey, and having the patience to deal is definitely one of my weakest points.

My son is also back in speech therapy. This is something I should have jumped on last year, after his three-year checkup, but just never got around to it. The topic came up again when I spoke with his preschool teachers in the beginning of February, and they suggested that it might help, not just with overall language skills, but also with connecting with the other kids.

Speaking of which ... it causes me great anxiety when I think of my son not making any friends at school. As his teachers told me, the kids have been in class together for about five months already, and while boys aren't as quick to click with certain people as girls tend to, Ethan hasn't really clicked with anyone at all. They told me that there is really just one boy in the class that maybe he'll regularly play with, but even then, it's more like they happen to play with the same toys or games at the same time. When I drop my son off at school in the morning, I watch a lot of the other kids play with one another, and then there's my son, playing by himself. When I (and his teachers) ask him about any of the other kids, he has a hard time naming any of them.

Now, I don't see my son brooding over this, and honestly, right now it's probably a bigger deal to me than it is to him. I should understand perfectly, since I'm an introvert and prefer to do things on my own. However, my son is MUCH more social than I am. This is a kid who loves to talk to and interact with other people, so it worries me when I don't see him playing with the kids at school. As his teachers mentioned, maybe his difficulty communicating with the other kids have turned them off from engaging him in play, or that he gets frustrated and doesn't want to engage in play. His teachers didn't mention any negative behaviors, but sometimes I can't help but think that the other kids just don't really like him. Sure, he's crazy and tends to be loud and wild, but he's a good kid and has a good heart. I know it's only preschool, but I just don't want him bullied or otherwise made fun of.

I'm hoping speech therapy helps with his language skills—that better language skills will lessen any frustration he has communicating with others (or lessen the frustration others may have in understanding him).