Whoa, I honestly thought it wasn't that long ago that I updated. I guess time really does fly!
In my last post I wrote that Ethan's aggressive outbursts were happening less often. Yeah, well, then the holidays happened. He was off school for two weeks, and OH. MY. GOD. Not only did his outburst returned, but they came back with a vengeance. Daily arguments. Daily hitting. Daily kicking. Daily screaming. You name it.
So school opened up once again and I was so looking forward to getting back to our normal routines. I thought once we got back on schedule, things would calm down again. Boy, was I wrong. Within the first week back at school, Ethan had managed not only to attack teachers and other kids, but also another Kid's mom. (And just our luck, it happened to be one of the parents I reached out to for a playdate. You can pretty much guess we never did get that playdate, and probably never will.)
Now, a little over a month after school reopened, things are still touch and go. Ethan may go a day or two without any incidents, but then it all goes down the drain because he couldn't cope with how another kid wanted to play differently, or how the teachers want to do something he doesn't want to do. At home it could be because he doesn't want to put his shoes on, or getting a bath, or he doesn't want any of the choices I give him for dinner (even though he can't or won't tell me what he will eat). Screaming, hitting, kicking, and pushing were now accompanied by throwing things and attempting to escape. In one incident at school, he was angry and actually made it out the front door and onto the street by the time a teacher and I caught up to him.
Just the other day, he threw a chair inside the classroom (because he didn't like what they were doing for circle time), obviously scaring the crap out of the other kids. This prompted a sit-down (for both of us) by the director. She told him that if he hurts the teachers or kids again, then he will be spending his time in her office and the baby class (eg, not fun or "preschool detention").
She mentioned that Ethan could have what's called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Awesome.
I have the ball rolling on getting a developmental pediatrician involved. We have our first meeting with her later this month, followed by observations, evaluations, and feedback. And possibly a diagnosis. Of something, anything to guide us because we're out of ideas.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
More MIA Updates
Wow, so apparently I'm horrible about keeping this up. Things get busy, yadda yadda yadda ...
So, where to begin? In a nutshell, Ethan was denied any services through LAUSD, that while he probably could use some help, his "issues" weren't severe enough to qualify. On the one hand, GREAT! While we went through all the testing procedures, I did notice other kids who definitely seemed like they could use more help (eg. severe speech delays, etc). On the other hand, I felt like I was back to square one.
To be honest, Ethan has "grown" a lot since then. Academically, he seems to be doing well, especially with reading and math. People seem to be surprised how well he can read (for his age); which, to be honest, as a cynic, I can't tell if they're just fluffing my feathers since I don't really have any basis as to how much a four-year-old is supposed to be able to read.
However, socially, we still have some issues. Ethan's inability to cope with change had gone on to become violent. At home, I would get smacked, kicked, shoved, etc. and I was worried that this aggression would spill into school. Sometime in October, it finally did, and I was mortified. He wasn't just hitting other kids, but also the teachers. Thus prompted my first request for a parent-teacher conference.
The school staff (including the director) assured me that it wasn't the end of the world, and even pointed out that Ethan wasn't being aggressive out of malice, but because he couldn't cope with change. If other kids had a different idea about how to play with something, Ethan would freak out. And once he tipped over that edge, it was often difficult to bring him back down. Sure, you could remind him to use his words and that hitting is unacceptable until we're all blue in the face, but without a suitable (and safe) alternative, there was nowhere else for the frustration to escape than through his hands, legs, and lungs.
One method that I thought might help him is to get him to walk away. At home when he has gotten aggressive with me, he usually ends up in his room and can only come out after he's calmed down and ready to apologize. I told him that if he starts getting angry at school, he can try to find someplace away from others where he can calm down. I even suggested that he practice counting either as high as he can or in different languages. Supposedly this method worked at least once in school, but of course, catching that point (either by himself or with the help of a teacher) is far from easy.
Right now, I'm thankful that we've gone about a couple of weeks without any incidents at school. Even with me, the aggression has decreased, and I've had to put him in time out in his room maybe once in the last couple of weeks.
As for the other concern about Ethan not connecting with the other kids at school ... well, still not having much luck there. There are a couple of kids he seems to get along with, but most days he still often plays by himself. He still seems to prefer it that way, although it nearly broke my heart when I saw him one morning attempt to join a couple of other boys who were playing. They were bouncing balls among themselves, and Ethan took one ball out of the storage bin. He walked over to them and asked (a few times) if he could play with them, and he was practically ignored. Perhaps he wasn't asking too quietly. I wanted so badly to intervene, but I felt like in the long run, I wouldn't be doing him any favors by doing so. Ethan ended up putting the ball down and found something else to do. By himself.
I have reached out to the parents of a couple of the boys his teachers have told me that he gets along with, asking if they would be interested in playdates. One mom sort of shrugged me off by telling me that their schedules are all over the place so it's hard for them to plan playdates. The other I haven't even heard back from, but at least the boy came up to me and told me that he would love to have a playdate with Ethan. Eh, to be continued.
So, where to begin? In a nutshell, Ethan was denied any services through LAUSD, that while he probably could use some help, his "issues" weren't severe enough to qualify. On the one hand, GREAT! While we went through all the testing procedures, I did notice other kids who definitely seemed like they could use more help (eg. severe speech delays, etc). On the other hand, I felt like I was back to square one.
To be honest, Ethan has "grown" a lot since then. Academically, he seems to be doing well, especially with reading and math. People seem to be surprised how well he can read (for his age); which, to be honest, as a cynic, I can't tell if they're just fluffing my feathers since I don't really have any basis as to how much a four-year-old is supposed to be able to read.
However, socially, we still have some issues. Ethan's inability to cope with change had gone on to become violent. At home, I would get smacked, kicked, shoved, etc. and I was worried that this aggression would spill into school. Sometime in October, it finally did, and I was mortified. He wasn't just hitting other kids, but also the teachers. Thus prompted my first request for a parent-teacher conference.
The school staff (including the director) assured me that it wasn't the end of the world, and even pointed out that Ethan wasn't being aggressive out of malice, but because he couldn't cope with change. If other kids had a different idea about how to play with something, Ethan would freak out. And once he tipped over that edge, it was often difficult to bring him back down. Sure, you could remind him to use his words and that hitting is unacceptable until we're all blue in the face, but without a suitable (and safe) alternative, there was nowhere else for the frustration to escape than through his hands, legs, and lungs.
One method that I thought might help him is to get him to walk away. At home when he has gotten aggressive with me, he usually ends up in his room and can only come out after he's calmed down and ready to apologize. I told him that if he starts getting angry at school, he can try to find someplace away from others where he can calm down. I even suggested that he practice counting either as high as he can or in different languages. Supposedly this method worked at least once in school, but of course, catching that point (either by himself or with the help of a teacher) is far from easy.
Right now, I'm thankful that we've gone about a couple of weeks without any incidents at school. Even with me, the aggression has decreased, and I've had to put him in time out in his room maybe once in the last couple of weeks.
As for the other concern about Ethan not connecting with the other kids at school ... well, still not having much luck there. There are a couple of kids he seems to get along with, but most days he still often plays by himself. He still seems to prefer it that way, although it nearly broke my heart when I saw him one morning attempt to join a couple of other boys who were playing. They were bouncing balls among themselves, and Ethan took one ball out of the storage bin. He walked over to them and asked (a few times) if he could play with them, and he was practically ignored. Perhaps he wasn't asking too quietly. I wanted so badly to intervene, but I felt like in the long run, I wouldn't be doing him any favors by doing so. Ethan ended up putting the ball down and found something else to do. By himself.
I have reached out to the parents of a couple of the boys his teachers have told me that he gets along with, asking if they would be interested in playdates. One mom sort of shrugged me off by telling me that their schedules are all over the place so it's hard for them to plan playdates. The other I haven't even heard back from, but at least the boy came up to me and told me that he would love to have a playdate with Ethan. Eh, to be continued.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
MIA Updates
I've been MIA again. Things got busy, I got lazy, etc.
However, there are several new things in life that got me promising myself to start writing again on a regular basis: I've gone ahead and pursued opportunities to help my son with some of his "issues." Specifically, getting an IEP for him. This school year will be his last before he starts Kindergarten next fall, and in the end, my desire to help him succeed in "big kids school" trumps my reservations about getting "special ed" services for my child.
So this week and next, while his preschool is closed for a brief end-of-summer break, we get to tackle several tests and evaluations. This week he'll have Language and Psych assessments, an Audio/Visual one next week, followed by the first IEP meeting the following week.
Speech & Language is nothing new for us. He received services through Regional Center right before he turned two years old for speech delay. He should have continued, but we moved, and I never got around to looking up services in our new district. Shortly after he turned four, I finally got him re-evaluated and regular appointments with a speech therapist. More about this from an earlier post here.
I wrote in that post that I would continue to do what I can to help him work out his issues. In addition to S&L, one other thing that has come up—at home, in school, during speech, at playdates, etc—is that he has trouble coping in situations where "rules" he has in his mind aren't being followed. This could be anything from how the kids are lined up at school for hand-washing, or that his father left for work without eating breakfast first, or that he witnesses a stranger crossing the street while the DON'T WALK sign was flashing. I find it almost amusing since he doesn't always follow rules himself; but if it's other people breaking them, then it's a catastrophe! From speaking with his preschool teachers and his speech therapist, I was introduced with the idea of social skills groups. I thought it was a great idea and began looking around for groups in our area.
At the same time, I was encouraged again to contact our local school district to ask about preschool services—they could offer the exact services my son needs, from speech to occupational therapy. The thing is, these services are through Los Angeles Unified School District's Division of Special Education. As I wrote earlier, I just had my own (silly, cowardly) hangups about such labels. I wish my reasons for putting it off were more grand, but honestly, 1) I thought going through the district would be a bureaucratic clusterf*ck, and 2) I just didn't want my son to be negatively judged if he does, in fact, have learning disabilities. I was afraid that people would think him weird or worse—simply because he's developing a little differently than other "normal" kids his age. In the end, those who would think that about my bright, happy, and friendly little guy could, to put it bluntly, go eff themselves. The ones who would not think any less of him and continue to support us are the ones that matter.
So here we go. Today was actually his S&L assessment. I'll write another post with details, but so far, I've been pleasantly surprised at how well LAUSD has been working with us. My fingers are crossed.
However, there are several new things in life that got me promising myself to start writing again on a regular basis: I've gone ahead and pursued opportunities to help my son with some of his "issues." Specifically, getting an IEP for him. This school year will be his last before he starts Kindergarten next fall, and in the end, my desire to help him succeed in "big kids school" trumps my reservations about getting "special ed" services for my child.
So this week and next, while his preschool is closed for a brief end-of-summer break, we get to tackle several tests and evaluations. This week he'll have Language and Psych assessments, an Audio/Visual one next week, followed by the first IEP meeting the following week.
Speech & Language is nothing new for us. He received services through Regional Center right before he turned two years old for speech delay. He should have continued, but we moved, and I never got around to looking up services in our new district. Shortly after he turned four, I finally got him re-evaluated and regular appointments with a speech therapist. More about this from an earlier post here.
I wrote in that post that I would continue to do what I can to help him work out his issues. In addition to S&L, one other thing that has come up—at home, in school, during speech, at playdates, etc—is that he has trouble coping in situations where "rules" he has in his mind aren't being followed. This could be anything from how the kids are lined up at school for hand-washing, or that his father left for work without eating breakfast first, or that he witnesses a stranger crossing the street while the DON'T WALK sign was flashing. I find it almost amusing since he doesn't always follow rules himself; but if it's other people breaking them, then it's a catastrophe! From speaking with his preschool teachers and his speech therapist, I was introduced with the idea of social skills groups. I thought it was a great idea and began looking around for groups in our area.
At the same time, I was encouraged again to contact our local school district to ask about preschool services—they could offer the exact services my son needs, from speech to occupational therapy. The thing is, these services are through Los Angeles Unified School District's Division of Special Education. As I wrote earlier, I just had my own (silly, cowardly) hangups about such labels. I wish my reasons for putting it off were more grand, but honestly, 1) I thought going through the district would be a bureaucratic clusterf*ck, and 2) I just didn't want my son to be negatively judged if he does, in fact, have learning disabilities. I was afraid that people would think him weird or worse—simply because he's developing a little differently than other "normal" kids his age. In the end, those who would think that about my bright, happy, and friendly little guy could, to put it bluntly, go eff themselves. The ones who would not think any less of him and continue to support us are the ones that matter.
So here we go. Today was actually his S&L assessment. I'll write another post with details, but so far, I've been pleasantly surprised at how well LAUSD has been working with us. My fingers are crossed.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Laser Lights: Part Two
It's now been just over a week since I went in for my first laser hair removal treatment for my underarms. I'm glad I waited before writing any follow-ups because up until yesterday, I was ready to say that my results were FAR less effective than from what I've seen and heard.
The place I decided to go with was Beauty Park Medical Spa in Santa Monica. I tried to look for a deal from Groupon of Living Social, but I was a little wary of the places that offered them, since there weren't many that got good reviews on Yelp. Beauty Park is located not too far from me, they currently have a four-star rating on Yelp, but the biggest draw for me was that on their web site, they mention that use an Alma Soprano Laser. I've heard it is supposed to be painless.
So I went in for my treatment on Friday morning. I ran a couple of minutes late because I wasn't sure where to park (before deciding on metered street parking on Montana, half a block away). As I walked in, I apologized for running late, and I was glad to still be greeted with a smile from the young woman at the reception desk. (Am I too jaded because I expect to be hissed at whenever I'm late for appointments?)
After a bit of paperwork, she brought me back to a room just behind reception and told me that my technician would be with me shortly. The room was small but comfortable, hardly clinical, with a curtain to "close" it off from the hallway. Right next to the bed/table was the black Alma Soprano XLi laser. (Yes!)
After a few minutes, a gal in a white lab coat came in and introduced herself as Kristen. (Or was it Kristin? Kirsten?? I can never tell anymore.) She closed the curtain and asked me if I've ever had hair removal services before. I told her I've gotten waxed before, but I've never had anything done for my underarms. She assured me that the procedure is virtually painless, and that if I've ever experienced waxing before, this is nothing to be afraid of.
I hopped up on the bed and was given a pair of protective glasses. Kristen generously dolloped on some type of cooling gel on my skin and then started to rub the laser wand back and forth (and all around) the area. For me, yes, I would consider it painless. However, I wouldn't consider saying that I felt nothing at all. I definitely felt something; more like tiny, mild electrical shocks under my skin—rather than snapping rubber bands as some have described it. It was more than bearable, and for what it's worth, I was actually more preoccupied with trying not to laugh because it tickled a little.
Kristen spent a couple of minutes working on each side, so I was in and out of the place in around 30 minutes. They offer package deals where you get 15% off if you buy at least three sessions, so I went ahead and bought three. (From my research, I would probably need at least that many sessions, and if I end up needing more, I can always buy in threes.)
The outcome? So during the first eight days after my treatment, it felt (and looked) like I had a five o'clock shadow on my underarms, and I couldn't get rid of it! I'd shave, and it barely made a dent. I thought to myself, "This is worse than before!" Sometime around day four or five, I was so annoyed that I actually went ahead and tried to pluck a hair out. I had to know whether the follicle was actually destroyed or not; if the hair pulled out easily, then YEAH! If not, then, F*CK!
Thankfully, the few hairs I sampled did pull out easily. (Whew!) Ever since then, I made sure to exfoliate the skin while in the shower, then hoped all the dead hairs would just fall out soon. Yesterday, the ninth day, was the first time I noticed the absence of the stubborn stubble after my shower. And lo and behold, today the skin is just as hair-free as yesterday! I was quite giddy to notice this, since normally the hair is already very noticeable after 24 hours.
Thus far, I am a very satisfied customer, both of the procedure and Beauty Park. I've got my second underarm session already booked, and I'm considering starting my legs or bikini. Kristen joked that it's addicting, and I'm starting to see why!
The place I decided to go with was Beauty Park Medical Spa in Santa Monica. I tried to look for a deal from Groupon of Living Social, but I was a little wary of the places that offered them, since there weren't many that got good reviews on Yelp. Beauty Park is located not too far from me, they currently have a four-star rating on Yelp, but the biggest draw for me was that on their web site, they mention that use an Alma Soprano Laser. I've heard it is supposed to be painless.
 |
| The Alma Soprano XLi Laser |
After a bit of paperwork, she brought me back to a room just behind reception and told me that my technician would be with me shortly. The room was small but comfortable, hardly clinical, with a curtain to "close" it off from the hallway. Right next to the bed/table was the black Alma Soprano XLi laser. (Yes!)
After a few minutes, a gal in a white lab coat came in and introduced herself as Kristen. (Or was it Kristin? Kirsten?? I can never tell anymore.) She closed the curtain and asked me if I've ever had hair removal services before. I told her I've gotten waxed before, but I've never had anything done for my underarms. She assured me that the procedure is virtually painless, and that if I've ever experienced waxing before, this is nothing to be afraid of.
I hopped up on the bed and was given a pair of protective glasses. Kristen generously dolloped on some type of cooling gel on my skin and then started to rub the laser wand back and forth (and all around) the area. For me, yes, I would consider it painless. However, I wouldn't consider saying that I felt nothing at all. I definitely felt something; more like tiny, mild electrical shocks under my skin—rather than snapping rubber bands as some have described it. It was more than bearable, and for what it's worth, I was actually more preoccupied with trying not to laugh because it tickled a little.
Kristen spent a couple of minutes working on each side, so I was in and out of the place in around 30 minutes. They offer package deals where you get 15% off if you buy at least three sessions, so I went ahead and bought three. (From my research, I would probably need at least that many sessions, and if I end up needing more, I can always buy in threes.)
The outcome? So during the first eight days after my treatment, it felt (and looked) like I had a five o'clock shadow on my underarms, and I couldn't get rid of it! I'd shave, and it barely made a dent. I thought to myself, "This is worse than before!" Sometime around day four or five, I was so annoyed that I actually went ahead and tried to pluck a hair out. I had to know whether the follicle was actually destroyed or not; if the hair pulled out easily, then YEAH! If not, then, F*CK!
Thankfully, the few hairs I sampled did pull out easily. (Whew!) Ever since then, I made sure to exfoliate the skin while in the shower, then hoped all the dead hairs would just fall out soon. Yesterday, the ninth day, was the first time I noticed the absence of the stubborn stubble after my shower. And lo and behold, today the skin is just as hair-free as yesterday! I was quite giddy to notice this, since normally the hair is already very noticeable after 24 hours.
Thus far, I am a very satisfied customer, both of the procedure and Beauty Park. I've got my second underarm session already booked, and I'm considering starting my legs or bikini. Kristen joked that it's addicting, and I'm starting to see why!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Laser Lights
While we were away at Coachella last month, a friend of ours treated us to her personal story of laser hair removal. She went into much more detail than I would write on here - we're not shy amongst friends and there was plenty of alcohol involved - but ever since then, I've been almost obsessed with going through the journey myself. After doing a bit of research online, with great thanks to Yelp, I've taken my first step and made an appointment for this Friday.
I'll save the name of the place I'm going to for after the first treatment, when I can dish out how much it hurt (both physically and financially). I'm getting my underarms done first, and if it goes well, I might move on to the bikini area, then perhaps the legs. Even if it's near 80% effective in permanent hair removal (as they say), then I'll be one happy campmer.
Stay tuned!
I'll save the name of the place I'm going to for after the first treatment, when I can dish out how much it hurt (both physically and financially). I'm getting my underarms done first, and if it goes well, I might move on to the bikini area, then perhaps the legs. Even if it's near 80% effective in permanent hair removal (as they say), then I'll be one happy campmer.
Stay tuned!
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